I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
