He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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