Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
