So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
