We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
