living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Your cock deserves a montage
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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