I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
