I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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