I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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