i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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