You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
