Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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