Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
