I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
