don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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