the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
