elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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