Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
