we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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