i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
