She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
