it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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