Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
