you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
