Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
