so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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