He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
