wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
