Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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