Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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