So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
