hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
