Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
