i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
