Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
