I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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