if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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