wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
