She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
