I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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