I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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