Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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