He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
