I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
