My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
