I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
