Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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