carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
