We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
