Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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