I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
