is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I smell like Dick and happiness
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
