We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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